"New X-mas Songs"(edited to add a new title)

"Oh, Holy Sh--! (I ran out of money to buy my momma's gift)"

"Rudolph, my drunk a-- uncle"

"You-can't-have-that-because-you-got-an-'F'"

"You want WHAT for X-mas? (I only do that on your birthday)"

And the knitter's classic:

"I-don't-really-like-you-but-
I'm-knitting-you-a-gift-anyway-so-you-don't-feel-left-out"
(we've all done this once or um, four times).

I was listening to the radio and the DJ announced that a famous singer has just released a new X-mas album. I don't want to say who it is, but his name rhymes with "Brian McSmight". The song came on, and it was just the 300th remake of one of the same damned X-mas songs that I've been hearing since I was a fetus. And I screamed "Y'all need to make some new shi-". So I thought I'd come up with some titles of my own. You know, to jump-start the creativity of the world's song writers.